


As Dawn Approaches

by beautiful_phenomenon



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-10-12 00:40:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20555369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beautiful_phenomenon/pseuds/beautiful_phenomenon
Summary: Read at ur own risk, mostly depressing. Basically, just a collection of poems I wrote.





	1. And So They Loved Her

**Author's Note:**

> Final warning: Do not read if you get set off by shit I guess, super depressing poems that I wrote to just clear my head a bit. Also, beware of the grammar and shit because it's usually god awful.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read at your own risk

**And So They Loved Her**

One day, they came.

She doesn’t quite remember when; they had just suddenly become deeply integrated into her life.

It was almost difficult to see life without them now.

They whispered into her ear, different tales of far off places and happy endings.

They never told her that life continues on after each so-called “happy ending.”

They never told her that one day, her smile won’t be because she’s happy. One day, her smile would turn to stone and always shine because it’s what’s expected of her.

And so they loved her.

They loved the fake smile on her scarlet lips, the fading scars scattered on her body, the way she entranced a new man into her life every month or so, and the way when she walked into a room, she seemed to glow as if heaven itself was shining down on her.

They never saw that each fake smile was always accompanied by glazed eyes and hidden tears.

They never understood that her scars went far deeper than those littering her body, that they couldn’t see the scars she still carries with her.

They never realized that each man was an attempt to heal, but always, always ended up a disappointment. Her heart broke a little with each man, A disappointment to her body, her trust, and her heart.

They never really saw her, they never saw that beneath her glow and perceived warmth was a darkness that she could never get rid of. An devastating battle that she would fight for eternity.

And so they loved her, not for who she was or what she went through, but for who they wanted her to be, for who they believed her to be.

So she would be whoever they wanted her to be until she couldn’t anymore. For now, it would last.

For now, they wouldn’t notice that she could only smile when her eyes were glassy and unfocused on the life around her.

For now, her smiles of stones would do.


	2. And So They Loved Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again, read at your own risk.

**Drugs**

Drugs, how I love them.

But oh how I hate them.

They ruin so many bright eyes filled with ideas of new futures.

I saw what they did to those close to me.

They tore three precious people from me, and yet… How I love them.

How I hate them for letting me love them even after everything that's happened.

It’s just so wonderful to get lost in the feeling of nothing, the feeling that I don’t have to think, I don’t have to worry or feel the right emotions, I can just be. Be without regards for the world around.

here, in my secret hideaway, I can be free, and happy. Here, I can climb the highest mountains, but when I come down I hate how low I’ve become.

I sometimes wish that I could go back to before I couldn’t live without them. But then I remember the memories I try to forget, and remember the sweet, sweet numbness that comes with a wonderful high. Here, I am unbothered by the scars both physical and mental on my body, by the wandering hands who always went just a bit too far, the passing comments in reference to my beauty or chest, by past griefs, and by life in general.

How I wish I could stay here forever. One day, maybe I will, and yet… that is one of my greatest fears.


	3. Ashes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this one is a bit happier tbh

**Ashes**

Slowly, but surely, she rose.

She built a palace of gold from the ashes of her past.

She surrounded herself with intelligent, aristocratic scholars.

She learned new tongues, invited men into her home with smiles that promised danger and excitement.

She built a new image of herself. Soon, no one would remember the broken, delirious mess she had once been.

Like a phoenix, she had risen from the ashes of each cigarette she smoked.

She showed the world that it wasn’t necessary to have lived in far away lands, marry princes, or make wishes on a passing star.

Here, in her glittering castle of warmth, she built herself the fairytale she always wanted.

Once upon a time, no more.

She was the fairytale, and she’d rule her kingdom lovingly. Always there for her people because once, no one had been there for her. They wouldn’t need to struggle with every passing step because she’d be there to help them grow, learn, and just live.

Behind closed doors, she sometimes still needed to remember the scared little girl she used to be, but in public, she was their brilliant, benevolent pride and joy.


End file.
